My Mates

Yes yes I'm back, I was abducted by eskimos on April Fools day and have just returned from Northern Canada.
In my absence, blogger has made it easy for me to add photos to my blog, which is useful becuase next year i'm going to.....SWITZERLAND!!!
YESSS!!! I'm really excited:D, next January I will be on a very long plane flight to the other side of the world...for a YEAR...gasp!
So its the long weekend, i'm happy things are great
No more reports of assignments, so tomorrow after my music exam everything will be peachy!
Well i must be off, the eskimos are hungry
- Danae

The Plauge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : ) !!!!!

THE PLAUGE !!!

by Jenny Morris. 2@

CAUSE!!!!!

• THe pLaUgE wAZ c@UsEd bI r@tsZ!
• THe R@TsZ H@d h@D tOo mUcH S@lT aNd vInEg@R cHiPZ sO tHeY gOt @ R@SH!
• THe r@tZ gAvE tHat r@Sh tO JAcOb NiCkOls fOr hiZ 12th BIrThd@Y!
• Da pL@uGe sPrE@d FrOM J@Cob 2 Hiz f@MiLy 2 LOnDOn.
• ThEy @lL DiEd!

ReSultS

THe PlAuGe KiLlEd Lotz oF PeoPlE aNd RaTZ

By Jenny Morriz 2A

Good Work Jenny!!!! Your information was purely fantastic! Where do you pull it from...your ass? Donkeys are not a reliable source.

Z is actually the last letter in the alphabet. You know like the last person in a really long line for the canteen? It gets nothing, its deserves to star in only a few words! What ever happened to good solid letters like "S"? Its so nice and curvy, so respectable.

I'm glad you have figured out how to use the colour changer on the font menu!!! It so totally makes me want to read your lovely work!

CAPITAL LETTERS ARE USEFUL BECAUSE THEY SHOW WHEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT "SOMEONE" AND WHEN YOU ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING!

Capital letters are extremely immportant in modern life. Simply because of mordern parents calling their children the most shocking names. When someone called Apple isn't given a capital letter at the start of her name, we might just feel the need to eat her!

And that brings me to my last paragraph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Misfortune!!!!!! Death!!!!!!! Suffering!!!!!!!! Essendon!!!!!!!

Social Awkwarditis

This years just running away...has anyone realised that summer has gone!? Well I haven't really as it is 38degrees today!
Yes so as I was saying it is now the month of March and I haven't made a post since..well a long time ago. No ones really missing me but you know, I still like to post :D.
This year I've got nicer..and meaner. Many examples come to mind, but one stands out from the rest..my little friend Tabitha.
When I say "My little friend" I dont really mean that this "Tabitha" character is really my friend, she is more of my forced friend.
On the first day of term Tabitha arrived. Dear old Mr Worsend said to Tabitha..."This is Danae, she'll be your friend."
You see I'm that kind of person who people think will be best friends with everyone....I'm just too nice!
So my niceness gives me a problem.... I get the charity cases.
Dear little Tabitha is a bit odd to put it lightly. I think she committed social suicide about 15 times on the first day! The first question she asked me was, "can I borrow a pen" yup thats fine, no problemo. But the second question was a bit more disturbing.
"do you have a best friend" she asked.
"well no..I'm friends with everyone I suppose." I said.
BIG MISTAKE!!!
"well you can be my best friend" she said indifferently.
I quickly changed the conversation to subjects.

By the end of the week Tabitha had "borrowed" three of my pens, told me she wanted me to vote her class captian, asked me how many boyfriends I had, told me she'd had eleven, declared her undieing love for a guy in my class, visited me at work 8 times, and completely annoyed me and the WHOLE year to tears. AGGHHH!!

She is one of those people you feel sorry for, but then she says something and you don't anymore.

It makes me wornder how may people there are in the world like this, and what happened to them at birth.
People say it isn't their fault, but it is! They haven't learnt a thing about society and dont understand that other people are mean!

I think there should be a rehabilitation place for these people, where they can learn that asking someone for their whiteout 23 times when they are clearly ignoring you, is pointless and bad for you.

Thank goodness it isn't contaigous

Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, do not worry,here are your NEW YEAR horoscopes

Sorry about the delay.... the inner eye does not usually see for too long, specially when there is dinner in the future.

LEO 24 July - 23 Aug
LOVE
This year has been a very eventfull year in you love meter. Many Mr./Ms. have you seen.
But unfortunately, 2006 will be a bad year for your love life, this is becuase Mars is set to collide with the moon. You will lose your attractive features and become a bogan.
LIFE
Your new life as a bogan will lead you to the job of a spud picker. Be carefull with your wiskey in March...remember, we don't want another potatoe famine on our hands.
Make sure you get home before dark on the 17th of July, Pluto will be giving off radiation that could very much affect you.

VIRGO 24 Aug - 23 Sep
LOVE
If you are a lady, this will be an average year for you, if you are a man....BE CAREFULL! Venus is out to get you, be sure, if you have not come out of the closet when you should have, that you do.
And straight be sure, windey roads will not lead you to true love.
LIFE
Your problem is soon to be fixed with the merging of Venus and Pluto. Mercury will intervein and cause your enemy to become your friend.
Beware, all is not what it seems.

LIBRA 24 Sep - 23 Oct
LOVE
When your life came crashing to a halt last July, you missed the healing rays of Saturn. The last six months has been a blur, you remember not much, only meal times. This also relates to your love life, murky water is in the shadows, be prepared!
LIFE
You will have 1.9 kids, own a house in the suburbs, and have one cat and one dog. You will be a receptionist at a Wedding reception and go to a retirement home when your 75.

SCORPIO 24 Oct - 22 Nov
LOVE
At the moment it seems as if nothing can go wrong for the Scorpians, but look out, the Scorpian King is changing the constelations, to his advantage. Hold on to your partners before they are sucked up by Mercury.
LIFE
This year is all about one fatefull day for you.
FRIDAY, JANUARY, 13th.
This day is VERY important in the rest of your life, this area is very cloudy, so I can only give you some gidelines on what to do on this day.

1. DO NOT, under any circumstances visit KFC
2. If you see a black cat, shoot it.
3. Any ladders should be sawn in half the day before.
4. Make sure you wear white and pink, red will double your chances of there being a bad outcome.
5. When the boss asks you out for drinks at lunch, say yes, but dont eat any of the complimentary nuts at the bar.
6. Lastly, visit centerlink before 5pm, they will have some important information for you.

GOOD LUCK... and be carefull

you = blonde = dumb = willing = me = money

Gotta Love Spam, its priceless.

DATE; 6/9/05
From; Mr Knecovic - jknecovic@hotmail.com
To; Danae - i_think_u_gulible@hotmail.com
RE: Important Financial Offer.

Dear Danae

Recently My family have moved to India, we are currently applying for a home loan.
The bank wants $4000.0 more than we have, so we are presenting you with a beneficial deal.

If we could borrow your Bank account and Banking details and Money and credit card, and identitiy for two weeks, we will return all of these with $ 1, 000, 000 .

Please take time in considering our offer.

Mr Knecovic and Family.



YEAH!! TOTALLY, you sound so... TRUSTWORTHY and kind and INNOCENT! What makes me even mader is the fact you have put your "family" into this email, like if I dont immediately send you all of my banking details and account your family will die.

So.. one question Mr. Knecovic, why are you emailing me? Clearly you are too "poor" for a computer.
Next, how did you get my email adress you scheming slimy man!?

Conclusion.
You= computer nerd.
Me = no.

DATE; 6/9/05
From; Laura - steriotipical_babe_18346@hotmail.com
To; Danae - i_think_u_gulible@hotmail.com ,* and about one thousand oter email addresses*
RE: FWD: boogey Man curse

DONT CLOSE THIS EMAIL!
You have been cursed with the Egyptian Mummy, Boogey Man Curse, DO NOT DELETE THIS EMAIL, YOU ARE ALREADY CURSED.
To prove what will happen to you if you do delete this, read on.

Natalie, deleted this email, two days later her dog died.

Matthew deleted this email, one week later Macdonalds ran out of burgers.

KEEP READING..... OR THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

To release yourself of this curse, fwd this on to 15 people in the next ten minutes, if you fail to do this, you will suffer tremedously.

You will also have no love life...ever...beyond this moment.

FWD to 15 people; the curse will be lifted
FWD to 20 people; your crush* will ask you out on friday
FWD to 30 people; you will have the best day of your life in 27 days
FWD to 40 people; after you have done this, press F2 and a snail will appear on the screen, click it and it will reveal the name of you future husband/wife.

Quick, time is running short


Wiiiiiight....... so....hmmm.. lets just think for a minute now children... HOW CAN SOMEONE WITH NO EVIDENTIAL POWERS IN CURSE MAKING SEND ONE OVER THE INTERNET!?

And for that matter, how come people listen to the crazy frog?

Both of these are just dumb people, who beleive that they will have no love life for the rest of their life if they dont fwd on some "dummy, mummy curse"
Please, dont give yourself in to this insanity, there is a delete button for a reason, do mankind a favour, just delete the email.
You will be pleasantly suprised to find...

a.) no mummy will come kill you in your sleep
b.) yes... if you did before... you will still have a "love life"
c.) Macdonalds will, still, hopefully, run out of burgers.


* I absoulutly dispise the word crush... I mean, seriously.

Christmas Horoscopes, don't leave home before consulting yours!

SAGITTARIUS 23 Nov - 22 Dec
LOVE
The Combination of Mars crossing Saturn and Neptune Crossing Pluto this month will give you a clear path to "romance lane" be sure to put your right sock on before your left sock and stand under the Mistle Toe, but not on Thursdays.
LIFE
Your "pot plant" is not in the right corner of your house, hense putting your "Feng suei" into bad vibes, Move your lamp to the South Western corner to prevent any attacks from Venus.

CAPRICORN 23 Dec - 20 Jan
LOVE
STAY INSIDE ON 17TH OF JANUARY! Mars will be crossing Jupiter then and, if the rays reach your skin, the affect will make sure you have no love life for all of 2006, you will also have no love life for 2006 if you do not tell 15 people about this site NOW!
LIFE
Pluto has just finished sleeping in its orbit of "The Milky Way" this signifies the cleansing of your soul by Jupiters Moons, get out and have some fun! The Sun is showing that if you buy products relating to this site, you will have many great friendships this year.

AQUARIUS 21 Jan - 19 Feb
LOVE
Ater Mercury and Venus bonded for a brief moment last month you love life has been steaming along. Mr Mars is great for you but remember that what comes around goes around, Jupiter will send you Karma babe!
LIFE
Break free of the shakles Uranus has binded you with, go see people, break out of your cocoon! You'll find the Galaxy very pleased for it
19th January will not be a good day for you, remember your umbrella!

PISCES 20 Feb - 21 March
LOVE
Your tearing the old wounds open, just name him Fido!
LIFE
Jupiters moons are bonding again, just solve that old row, Thor will thank you for it.
The day after you big splurge wont be good, just get the membership and Mars will join with Venus.

ARIES 22 March - 20 April
LOVE
You will be single until you finally reveal the Truth Neptune has been showing, remember Barny was purple for a reason there for you must also do the unwanted for a reason, be carefull for "the people of Pisces" again they will haunt your spelling career.
LIFE
When you visit the local Shop next, look at the items on the shelves and think of how they relate to your life.

TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER
LOVE
The reason your three signs are combined this month is both mysterious and strange, Pluto and Mercury have crossed paths, which is not strange, Jupiters moons have been found residing near the sun, hot and hard times lay ahead for you three, keep the ice on.
LIFE
Since your big career move your life has moved to.... www.gofugyourself.com

OMG, like totally

"OMG Louise*, you look so like, fully hot today"
"Yeah Louise, Natalia* is so totally right, you look hottt!"
*louise*
"Thanks Natalia and Breanna*, like I know, how good does my arse look in this"
"soooo goood"

Thus the story of the Popular girl, and her drones.
She's would only barely pass for pretty, her hair is dyed Blonde and she is wearing everything Roxy, her Mum thinks she is a living angel and her dad doesn't have a clue, just has a peice of plastic.

Having just been on a Surf camp i have seen these conversations and copied them for laughs with my friends.... i mean, how can they be serious?

eg.
Louise;
"Natalia, why the hell are you wearing those Jeans? They make you look so ugly and fat, you look like trash"
Natalia;
"Omg louise, I'm so sorry, I do don't I, I'll go change, can i borrow your track pants?"
Louise;
"Umm...No! What do you think I am, some clothes lender. like no! You'll stretch them anyway, you pumba"
Natalia;
"Okay, sorry, I would, thanks for telling me."
Louise;
"Well like, yeah"

While Natalia is off changing her new jeans, Louise would be having a nice little bitch to Breanna, "I mean who does she think she is?" making Breanna feel special enough to stay.

This happens every day, things like,
"Okay, I've finished my lunch now, lets go"
'Louise would say this, knowing perfectly well that the other girls hadn't even taken a bite of their luch yet.

I wonder how these girl even have any friends, as in their minds they are only accesories, and how they can be so horribly mean, I mean...like..HELLO?
I'm sure my good friend Antipodeon could sort this out, with some smart little word, but I still marvle at how Blonde, or chrunchie like, there girls really are!

"like omg Breanna, dont write articles on a Blog, looking smart isn't cool!"

* names changed

Music vs Musik

Music, to me, is something that has some kind of melodic structure.
Musik is something that only consists or duph duph duph and a "fire to my arms" every now and them.
"fire to my arms"? WHAT yes i completely understand, you want fire in your arms, becuase its HOT! Why your musik really enspires me.
Music, things that are good and that arn't made souly on a multi duph keyboard.
Things like, Eskimo Joe, they have good melodys, and Red Hot Chilli Peppers, speak pure gibberish, but the best melodys.

So i think it insults people's intelligence when LOUIE!!! omg omg omg *pig sound* and the gorjuz MAZ *random song* decide to play a song that "apparently" the people had voted for, in duph duph.

Kelly Clarkson has recently released "beacuse of you" in Australia, its in the top ten. But i'm almost certain that she didn't release a duph duph musik version.
Please, musik belongs in clubs, where people dance, if you can actually dance to stuff like that. And Music belongs on the radio

Kelly Clarkson isn't my favourite artist in the world. she's a very nice peorson and they first time in heard the unduphed version of "becuase of you" i actually beleived it to be Music

Now its not music and its not Musik, its just a mouldy vegemite jar in between.
Music and Musik dont mix folks... so dont try.

So Much fun, for all involed!

Those of you involved with the sometimes addictive way of communication of MSN will undersand an underlying flaw in the program.
When people send fwds to all the people they send them too there is a whole string of adresses, every person that fwd has been sent to infact, now you see why I don't like forwards!
So whenever someone sends me a fwd they are affectivly sending my adress to anyone who wants it!
These people then add me to their MSN contacts, hmmm why you ask, i dont know you, you dont know me... well its for the deeply satisfying feeling of having 200 conatcts on MSN! I dont have this goal, but still i get alot of randoms adding me.
I'm not complaining... this is the source of all my fun!
Okay, someones added you aka. roxybabe101@hotmail.com .... who's roxy babe? I'm sure the surfbrand in your name just makes you so much cooler! SPECIALLY THE FACT THAT 101 OTHER COOL KIDS HAVE IT!! Anyway roxybabe101@htm.com adds me and pipes up
roxybabe101 says:
hi who's this
me:
*dont answer yet*
roxybabe101
umm..who's this??lol
me
why, i'm your conscience
roxybabe101
haha very funny.. who's this
me
dear girl, (no boy associates his name with roxy)
you need to look inside yourself more.. have you tried essential oils?
roxybabe101
haha very funny... this is Rachel by the way.. nice april fools Jess
me
(hmm Jess heh)
Rachel, it's nearly November.. this is not jess, this in your conscience, Jess is a dangerous character dont let her get in the way of you flowing chi

...and so on and so on.

The second senario is probably my favourite.

bob_the_builder@hotmail.com adds you

bob
hi who's this
me
hi i'm agapantha, or pantha for short, i feel aga is a bit bloked and i am a girl... yes i'm a girl and my name is agapantha...hehe
bob
um okay.
me
are you a boy??
bob
where are you from um agapantha?
me
why i'm from the clouds bob



as you see this joy is easy, funny and FREE log onto msn and try it today

Msn Names

Msn names, mean alot in this day and age.

If your name is just simply... Danae... your probably not in the in crowd, feel free to spesh it up.. make it cool here is my guide, to the Msn name.

1. Its probably a good idea to have some pictures in there, a current craze is a rose and or flower.
2. YOur name needs to be fully hip so.....

(f)Danez(f)luv u guyz(;D)"friends name""friends name"(f) Hansel you are so totally hot!

3. Thats probably a good start... it shows the friends and effectivly flirts with Hansel... he's so hot right now!

4. Next is the comment and/or "what i'm listening to bar" This is a place to extend on your name eg..

Like omg.. who's going to the Hilary Duff* concert!?

5. This bar also automatically turns on the "what i'm listening to" for when you are listening to anything...

BEWARE this could be dangerous..... do not forget this and listen to something like Bob Dylan or the Eagles "hotel calafornina" THIS WILL TAINT YOUR "cool as" REPUTATION THAT WE'VE WORKED SO HARD TO GET!

choose a song like.... "we belong together" mariah carey

this shows that you are in with the cool kids, it'll also hint to Hansel that... "we belong together!"

There you are 5 simple easy steps to making yourself into a Msn cool kid aka Bimbo

*side effects of ever mentioning hilary duff in a cool way include..

immediate formation to a total ditz

headache

leg problems

bad fashion sense

** I hate Hilary Duff. Like, dude.

*** Watch Zoolander.

Danaes Fantastic Day Of Fun

Ahh what a day.. what a day

Wednesday Morning, i wake up, sunny fine, outlook is good, what a pearler of a day today will be. Hmm.. It's wet on the deck, pants or dress, pants or dress, hmmm, dress in bag, pants on.
I arrive at school, all is well, off to double maths, yes bad, but i sat outside in the sun. Day is looking fantastic. At recess, eat yummy apple and cheese biscuits, very good, chat to friends all is well, but NEVER TEACHERS AND MAGPIES ARE OUT TO SABOTAGE MY DAY!!!
English period four, sit outsite the B block portables and yest they are as bad as they sound, falling apart, dirty, i wouldn't be supprised to find the odd rat. Anyway, sitting outside B Block portables ready for Mrs B, new english teacher, i am still undecieded weather she is good or bad, therefore still treating her with all teacherly respect and "i'm a good nice little student".
Classroom is open, my class are inside, me acting like the good little citizen that i am, waited outside, untill a sheer joy caught my eye.. a guy in my class had descovered two lockers, with no shelf inbetween, for those not familiar with school lockers, ours are about a meter tall and 30cm wide, stackedin two's, this one had two doors but was essentially one locker! HOW DELIGHTFUL!! Anyway, i climbed in just as Ms B came strolling into veiw, most teachers would have a laugh and a "okay time for work now" but not Ms B, oh no.
"Who's in that locker?", i opened the door and smiled,
"YOU HAVE A LUNCHTIME DETENTION"
WELL! A luchtime hey! I was given a luchime for standing in a locker, yes you heard it folks, innocently standing in a disused, run down inclosed space, i wasn't doing anything in anyway naughty, i was just playing a harmless joke, I WAS EVEN POLITE, but no i had a luchtime.. so much for hoping to recive a choccy for reading quietly.
Reading quietly, at the start of every lesson Mrs B tells the class to be silent and sit and read, i seriously think i am the only one who actually sits and takes in the words infrount of me, in fact i enjoy the book i am reading very much.
Mrs B likes to give out prizes to the quiet readers, My friend has got one 3 times, we're both reading, even people not reading get one, but doest inncoent friendly ACTUALLY READING danae get one? NO, not once!
She doesn't like me,
I KNOW! CAN YOU BELEIVE IT?!
Anyway, english is over, time for Japanese. I like this subject, in with my friend K, A who is also a friend hates K, A goes.
"Danae, come sit here" there is one spot either side of her. K wants me to sit with her , i eventually do but A now thinks that i totally hate her as well.. oh this is going peachy.
The Bell rings for luch, YES sunshine friends we'll talk an..... oh.. how could i forget, DETENTION.
I get my luch and make my way to Detention, k also has it so maybe it'll be okay. I get closer to the room, oh great, yr 7's as well, how lovely.
SIT AND BE QUIET, becuase i am nice i will let you eat...
yes, nice eh, because you are so nice i am here right now.
I sit and eat like a good little girl, eating neatly, ready to be let out any minute, but no, finished eating, maybe now, i haven't been talking like the others, no. 15 minutes later i turn to my frind Matt and smile, BA BUM
"Danae i was just about to let you out but now..."
yes how could i forget, no smiling, no being nice infact.
Ten minutes later Ms B has decided that i have served adequate time for my smiling and locker standing and that i may go outside.. well finally!
As i leave the classroom she has notified me that instead of having sose this afternoon my class will be having her again.. right okay Ms B,
"FEEL FREE TO MESS WITH OUR TIMETABLES!"
So i finally get to my friends and the bell rings, how pleasant, English again.
I arrive at English and sit at the front, open my book and start reading, she starts to give out lollies, one to K, one to my friend, she's passing me, yup yup lolly this time, NO! WHY WOULD YOU GIVE LOLLYS TO THE NICE PEOPLE! that would completely defeat the idea.
English winds to a close as we study fairy tales.. now its sose time, can some hope be salvaged in the wreakage?
Possibly.
Sose is okay, endangered animals is a bit of a depressing subject however. MAN KILLS EVERYTHING!

The bell has gone.. lessons are finished i'm at my locker, standing outside, not inside, becuase that would be BAD! Anyway, i'm innocently getting books into my bag when... NOOOOOOOOO
Sidman is waddling towards me with the bottom lip extended, the frown, the glare, the smell, the HUGENESS!! I do the usual and push myself as far into my locker as i can in a panic, not a good idea as i was the only on ein the locker room! He turns
"danae, GROW UP" aggghhhh dont eat me!

he waddles toward the door, where my friends are, two of which are as allergic to him as i am. I close the locker and hide behind the corner, i see them flee, i hear him yell, i see them giggle, i see him yell, i see them shudder, i hear him yell AGHH DONT ABDUCT AND OR EAT MY FRIENDS!! I arrive just as he is taking them off for a chat, suddenly the whole situation becomes amusing, Sarah had vocalised her fear of him eating him.
I watched as Jamie cracked ribs trying not to laugh, i watched Sarah try to explain that she was too young to be eaten, and i laughed, yes folks, joy had come to my day.
I caught the bus home and ate, yes things were getting brighter, why i even felt like a bike ride!
Garage locked, meh no problem, i am unstoppable, i went through the back and rode my bike out, up through town, on the bike track, nice veiw, past the train station, i'm going really fast now, swoop, hmm weird sound, swoop, again, swoop AGGHHHH A MAGPIE IS SWOOPING ME!
It's getting very close and AGGHHH!! I stopped at the road to cross, yes is was looking at me, it swooped again. GO AWAY! I have never been swooped, the thing followed me right back to my road, for a good 600m! What a horrible experience, i was very scared and teary, yes i danae was actually teary. I race down my road and ran into the house, glad to have a cover over me.
WHAAAAA
Dinner has been eaten, the piano has been played, can dr House put my faith back in Wednesdays?

Paulie and Napoleon, The Quest for the New Leg

"Go Paulie GO!" yelled Napoleon "Common you can do it!"
Paulie spead around the last corner to the straight, behind the pack, he pushed his chair to the limits, his wings were flapping like mad, he was still the only bird who hadn't got his chair-plane off the ground"
"Go Paulie go, GAMBATE!" Napoleon, was quite proud of himself, finally his Japanese classes were paying off!*
Since Paulies "accident" Napoleon and Paulie were getting around. They had started taking Launguage classes at the Library, were members of the local Bird Rights Board, and Paulie had taken up the Prestigious sport of chair flying, a sport in which a bird acts like he is an airoplane in his chair, racing. Paulie said it added zing to his life, Napoleon didn't know what "zing" was, he assumed it was a bird vitamin.
"QUICK PAULIE, your catching up!" barked Napoleon. That was a lie of coarse, Paulie lost."you did so well" congratulated Napoleon, "I'm so proud"
"th th th Than ke ke yo you," said Paulie, "o o or shooouu should i se say Ari Arigato"
"Doitashimashto" replied Napoleon, "or is it doitashimashite"?

The Next Morning, Paulie and Napoleon rised before the sun, today Paulie was getting his new leg in the city.
They walked into town, and past the crossing, before waiting for a taxi.
Soon after they sat down a taxi screeched to a halt infront of them, knocking the rubbish bin down as it stopped.
"Here's our taxi Paulie," said Napoleon, "you just let me do the speaking okay?"
"ye ye ye"
"just let me do the speaking."
Napoleon opened the door, and put their bag onto the seat, he lifted Paulie up in his mouth before jumping in hisself".
"Okay Okay" a mans voice came out of the cabin, "this is Barry, he's learning today."
"Thats great" said Napoleon, "i'd just love to mee..."
Sitting in the drivers seat of the taxi was a full sized monkey.
The man threw some blue cans of drink over the back.
"dont worry" he yelled, "there's no sugar"
The monkey put the car in gear and screeched down mainstreet on the way to the city.

WHAM. The Taxi halted outside the Hospital, a sign notified Napoleon this was the clinic car park.
After paying the "driver" and stumbling out of the falcon, Paulie and Napoleon dragged themselves across the carpark.
"b bu bu buss" Paulie croaked
"yes," Napoleon replied, "we'll take the Greyhound home"
his feathery friend was a little more green than usual.
When they entered the clinic they were startled to find camera's everywhere, plastic leads ran across the floor, lights blared and people with headsets ran around frantically.
"Hmm.." Napoleon pondered, "this looks like a set! PAULIE WE'RE GOIN TO BE IN A COMERICAL!"
"bu hu buut but we di di didn't au audi audition"
"shhhhhh! No one will know! We'll get your leg, and be on tv at the same time!"
They sat down and waited next the a lady with short brown curly hair and glasses. Suddenly all the camera gear was cleared away.
"oh well, we missed it" Whispered Napoleon, "see they're packing..."
"Hello I'm docotor House," the clinic hushed "a gradulated docotr with a degree in Pedietricion and Opthamology, not that that matters to you, becuase your problems could be cured by a monkey with a stethescope"
"god not the monkey" shuddered Napoleon.
"You're not a very nice doctor are you" the lady next the them shuddered.
"AND CUT!, HOUSE wrong lines read the script"
' i hope he hasn't given anyone the wrong medication hoped Napoleon"
"sorry everyone" a lady with a clipboard announced "you'll all be here a little longer till Mr House sorts out his script"
"o o ohh we we well" said Paulie. Napoleon leant over, "Dont worry, you'll have your leg soon"

Paulie and Napoleon on a Walk

Paulie the stuttering Parrot and Napoleon the Token puppy were the best of friends, they laughed together, played together, and sang christmas carols in the springtime together.

One fine pleasant Day Napoleon and Paulie decided to take a walk to the park.
They walked past the butchers and the vets and waited at the crossing for the crossing light to come on.
"I i it ittss its su su suchh a lu lu love-ly de de da day for a we wea walk!"
Paulie stuttered.
"Quick Paulie," Napoleon said, "its time to walk!"
Napoleon and his little parrot friend made their way across the Crossing.
Half way across the crossing Napoleon heard Paulie squark
"Na na na Na-poo pol NAPOLEON" he cried
"i i i'm stu stu STUCK"
And indeed the little birds claw was stuck in a crack in the concrete.
"oh No" cried Napolen "oh no"
"qu qui qui QUICk" squarked Paulie, "ge ge get me OUT"
What will i do? though Napoleon in a panic, the lights will change soon!
Paulie started to cry, "who oo wi will he he he-lp us?"
"why i think i could" said a happy voice.
Napoleon spun around, "MR FRIENDLY BALLOON WHO CARIED ME AWAY IN MY LAST MOVIE" he cried, "boy am I glad to see you!"
"Pualie this is Mr Friendly Balloon" Napoleon introduced his friend.
"Na na napo po leon, cu cu cu cuup Cuupp CUP!" Paulie screamed, "CUP"
"good god Paulie, its a CAR" Napoleon cried.
"Here," Mr Friendly Balloon said, flinging a rope out of his basket, "put this in your beak Paulie"
Paulie followed Mr Friendly Balloon instructions and put the rope in his beak.
"QUICK" yelled Napoleon, the big black 4WD was speeding towards the group, "HURRY OR PAULIE WILL DIE!"
"de de de die!?" paulie wimpered
"YES PAULIE!" Napoleon yelled "HURRY UP OR YOU"LL DIE!"
Mr Friendly Balloon started pulling up.
"AGGGGGGHHHHH" paulie cried in agony "Me me my le le LEG!"
"NOIW" YElled Napoleon
Mr Friendly Balloon heaved with all his might, paulie screamed and the car came closer.
"AGGGHHHHHHHH" THUMP
They all landed on the side of the road, dazed and sore.
Napoleon opened his eyes, no car, no minced bird, no ambulance.
"aghhh" paulie wimpered, "my le le leg"
Napoleon looked down at his dear little friend, crumpled next to him.

'funny' thought Napoleon 'he had a leg before'
he looked up to the road, and indeed on the crossing in a little crack was a birds leg, sticking up, like a dead tree.

Paulie and Napoleon attempted to sue the local council for over a million dollars. They were unsucsessfull, they did recieve compensation from the infamous G.I.I.I.P, Gangsters Institition for Independent Injured Pets,
the check still hasn't arrived.